


I Never Felt so Alive & so Dead

by jillvalentine



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Falling Angels, Losing Wings, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-31
Updated: 2013-08-31
Packaged: 2017-12-25 04:40:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/948730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jillvalentine/pseuds/jillvalentine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"It hurts," he whispers, "it won't stop." And Cas breathes him in. He smells like leather and alcohol, and it brings him peace.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Never Felt so Alive & so Dead

**Author's Note:**

> I finally got caught up on Supernatural this week, &this lil headcanon's been poking at back of my brain for a couple days. 
> 
> Unbeta'd - nothing unusual.
> 
> I'm not completely happy with it, but I don't see it getting much better.

Dean's been gone for hours, and Cas doesn't have the vaguest idea where Sam is. He assumes he's somewhere in the bunker, researching - either that or he's asleep. Since the third trial, he hasn't gone out much. 

The pain is like dull knives, slicing away. Cas curls up in Dean's bed, pulling the blanket over his face, and he tries not to cry. 

** 

It's late when Dean comes home that night. He assumes Cas is sleeping in his bed again, so he grabs a beer and drops himself on the couch. 

For lack of anything better to do, he's flipping through the channels on the TV:

Casa Erotica 14

Dr. Sexy, M.D. 

Star Trek: TNG 

Dean tosses the remote to the table, and buries his face in his hands. He shakes the bottle, and takes one last swig of his drink. 

He shuts his eyes and leans back on the couch. He's teetering on the edge of sleep, when he's brought back to reality by a scream. 

Dean stumbles into his room, and Cas is curled up in the fetal position. 

"My wings, Dean." 

Quietly, he comes to Cas' side, and takes his hand. 

"It'll be okay, man. It'll all be all over soon."

"It hurts," he whispers, "it won't stop." And Cas breathes him in. He smells like leather and alcohol, and it brings him peace. 

It kills Dean to see him in so much pain, so he holds Cas' hand tighter, and he hums Hey Jude for him, the way he used to do for Sammy. 

After an hour, Cas stops shaking, and he's finally asleep.

When he wakes, Dean lies beside him, their fingers still intertwined. 

Cas can see the black feathers scattered across the floor, but so long as he has Dean, he knows he'll be okay.


End file.
